


You Are The Worst

by wolftea



Series: Valduggery Oneshots [2]
Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M, originally written in 2012
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:56:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolftea/pseuds/wolftea





	You Are The Worst

Skulduggery sat in the Bentley outside of her house, impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It was sunny outside so he had his hat dipped low over his face, and his facade activated.

Why is it, he thought to himself, that whenever I'm in a hurry, she's late?

He looked up at her bedroom window and sighed. The curtains were still closed.

Valkyrie Cain was an absolute menace sometimes.

Skulduggery sighed again and decided that he had waited long enough. He opened the car door and stepped out into the fresh air.

As soon as he was in the shade from the tree outside her bedroom, he deactivated his facade and ascended up to the window, his gloved hand splayed. He landed gracefully, almost catlike he thought, on the windowsill. The curtains were still closed.

He tried the window, it was unlocked and opened easily. He bypassed the curtains and looked around Valkyrie's room. It was relatively messy; her bed was unmade and clothes were strewn around the floor.

At least she wasn't still asleep. Skulduggery heard water running. She was in the shower. He sighed, for the third time this morning, and sat on the end of her bed.

It was times like these, when he had no one to talk to, no distractions, that he couldn't quite keep track of his thoughts. Some lingered just out of reach, in his subconsciousness. They teased him, flitting around in his dreams.

Up until recently his meditative state had allowed to him to shut down all thoughts and feelings. It was peaceful and relaxing. However that had begun to change ever since Valkyrie had invaded his subconscious. He had no idea why, but every time he tried to 'sleep' his mind wandered off always thinking of her.

Skulduggery took off his hat and placed it beside him. He lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

You're in love with her.

Skulduggery sat up; his bones rigid with a newfound tension just as Valkyrie walked into her room.

She was naked; drying her hair with the towel and hadn't noticed him.

Skulduggery knew he should pick up his hat and cover his eyes, maybe make some snide comment and scare her witless but he couldn't. He couldn't drag his eyes, sockets, away from her body.

God she was beautiful. Why hadn't he noticed before? He'd seen the reflection naked once and that hadn't caused him to have the same reaction. This was different. He remembered how Valkyrie had shrieked when she realised and chuckled at the memory.

Valkyrie whipped the towel down from her head and wrapped it around her body in one fluid motion. When she saw it was Skulduggery she closed her eyes and her mouth was set in a thin line.

"Please, please tell me that you had your eyes shut."

"I don't have eyes."

Skulduggery noted his voice sounded spectacularly smug, and took great pleasure in the blush that was rising from Valkyrie's neck.

"How much did you see?" Valkyrie breathed. Her whole face was scarlet now.

Skulduggery leant back on the bed and activated his facade so she could see his grin when she opened her eyes.

"Absolutely everything. There's no need to be embarrassed Valkyrie. Although you don't look much like Grace Kelly, you're still beautiful in your own way."

Valkyrie's eyes snapped open and the next thing Skulduggery knew there was a towel over his head and a slam of a door. He got up and followed Valkyrie, this time his hat in front of his eyes.

"You are just the worst." He heard her snap, as she struggled to pull on trousers.

"The worst at what?"

"Well, you're terrible at pretending to have humility, you're horrible at soothing my embarrassment but you are the worst at pretending not to be hopelessly in love with me."

Skulduggery pulled his hat down from his face just in time to see Valkyrie pull a t-shirt on. She turned around to look at him, face still bright red but eyes full of defiance. Then he noticed her smile.

"Now who's blushing..."

Skulduggery inwardly cursed China and took a step towards Valkyrie. Her smile faltered.

"Skulduggery. What are you doing?" She took a step backwards, looking wary.

He grinned as he cornered her, in her own wardrobe, of all places. She stepped back again and Skulduggery pinned her to the wall, his torso pressed against hers, his hands on her waist.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Skulduggery was kissing her, urgently. Valkyrie's hands snaked around his neck; running her hands through his hair. Skulduggery hadn't felt fire inside himself like this for a very long time.

He moved his hand further down and picked her up. Valkyrie wrapped her legs around Skulduggery's waist and moaned into his mouth. He pulled away and began trailing kisses around her throat and shoulders. She smelt heavenly.

Valkyrie groaned again and pulled Skulduggery's face back to hers for more.

He grinned and carried her back into her room.

"I knew you couldn't resist me." Valkyrie murmured against his lips, as he sat on the bed. Valkyrie was still wrapped around him.

"What do you mean?" His voice was ragged when he spoke.

He felt Valkyrie smile and she pulled away to look at him. There was a glint in her eye and suddenly it all fell into place.

Skulduggery's eyes narrowed and he glared at Valkyrie.

"You were late on purpose." He paused. "You were naked on purpose."

Valkyrie laughed. "I'm always naked on purpose."

She leant in to kiss him again but Skulduggery pulled back.

"You tricked me." He said grumpily.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, grabbed a fistful of his hair and said "I'm amazing," right before kissing him again and pushing him back on the bed.

She's the worst at modesty, was Skulduggery's final thought before he was lost in Valkyrie.


End file.
